Day 18 – spiky grass meditation

I didn’t see the point of meditating before I got on the plane to Bali, only to end up frazzled, sweaty and completely airy at the other end of my journey. I was still in a cloud of anxiety when I got up, though, so I did take out a few moments to stand with my palms open and imagine myself being washed over by cool, blue light. It only took a moment, but this helped a lot.

You know those moments in life where you stand in it and wish you were anywhere but exactly where you are? Those moments when the emotional turmoil of a situation feels like it is literally sucking the life out of you? Life is hard at the best of times but at this moment I couldn’t imagine how the situation could possible get any better. Without having to explain the personal situation at hand, I will just say that I could not even imagine sitting up straight, let alone focusing my mind. My head was all over the place and I could barely keep my eyes open. But all I wanted to do was meditate. Not to escape the moment, but feel it in its entirety and come to understand it. I felt like I wasn’t quite grasping what the universe was trying to teach me. (Because I believe that all moments that challenge us are lessons to be learnt).

So I d0 a handstand. What else is one to do when the world is turned upside down, but follow suit? Everything looks different when seen from another angle with the blood rushing into my head.

Then I find a tranquil spot of grass and sit on it. There are two types of grass in my friend’s place here in Bali. There is soft thin grass and what looks like thick cushiony lily pad grass. It turns out the thick stuff is spikier than I first imagined. This helps in a way, because as I sit and bring the awareness to my seat touching the earth, I am practicing a grounding technique and the spiky thick grass is a physical reminder of my contact to the ground. I feel my vitality increasing, as though all the energy that had been sucked out of me is gently creeping back in through the soft earth and spiky grass. I sit quietly until a leaf falls suddenly on my knee and scares the shit out of me. I open my eyes and feel my heart beat quickly and then subside again as I realise that the tree was just blessing me by pegging a leaf at me. A fellow yoga teacher friend once told me that leaves contain magic and if you catch it before it hits the ground, then you are given some of this natural magic. I close my eyes to meditate a little longer but an ant is soon biting me. HARD. So I move to leave the meditation, only to find myself in a low squat with my hands and soles of my feet on the grass. I hold onto the ground as though I can feel the world hurtling through space and if I don’t stay low I may just be spun into the cosmos. I feel the grounding energy moving all the way up my arms and for a moment I wonder if I look strange in this frog-like imitation as I feel the earth’s heart beat beneath me. Finally I stand and take three long deep breaths with full attention on the soles of my feet on the ground. My legs start to feel heavy and I decide it is time to leave the meditation.

The personal problem is still here. It hasn’t gone away. I still don’t know what the lesson is, but I know that after I close my eyes, I am better able to deal with it and all the emotions it is stirring up.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Nerida
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 22:02:37

    I found it! That is a gorgeous pic! X x x

    Reply

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