Day 35- self love meditation

We moved hotels this morning to be further up the beach, towards La Punta, the point where the left hander allegedly breaks. We are staying at El
Salvador Habitaciones. One of our neighbours, a one legged cowboy from North Carolina with the most beautiful Southern accent, warns us to keep our pot in our rooms as there are cops around. Down this end of the beach, it is a little more “tranquilo” and even has a restaurant/cantina called El Lugar owned by Australians. They even sell meat pies! We order guacamole and frijoles anyway.

Our morning is made up of coconuts, papaya, hammocks and swims in the water. The white wash glitters from the iridescent sand and by afternoon, my hair will be filled with sand.

At the southern point of La Punta, there are caves and tunnels beneath the rocky outcrop. I stand in a cave filled with rocks that look like rhodocrosite, the stone of self love. I need a bit of self love at the moment. I have put on a little holiday weight and although it isn’t much, it is enough to fire up the self critical voices in my head. I stand in this beautiful cave and meditate on self love. I take my attention to every part of my body, especially the parts that I am not loving at the moment like my belly and my thighs. I can hear that annoying little bitch in my head starting to criticise, telling me that I’m not good enough, that my belly isn’t flat enough, comparing the size of my thighs to the slim topless girl down the beach… I breathe and just put all my awareness on love, until I feel like I am breathing love. I inhale love into my belly, exhale the criticism out, inhale love to my thighs, exhale the negative self-talk, inhale the love to my curves until I can actually feel… beautiful. I embrace myself tightly and walk back over to the rock, where Andrew was just sitting. With no effort at all, he was probably just as clear-minded and blessed out as I was.

We watch some brown pelicans diving for fish for a while and I briefly wonder how much calories are in a piece of fish and how many are burned from flying. But I know a pelican would never care about such a thing.

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