Day 89- stay in bed meditation

I wake up but my eyes stay closed. It doesn’t matter which way I lie, this bed is the most comfortable place in the world to me right now and I can not think of any place I would rather be. It is my last morning of sleep-ins for a while, as tomorrow I head to India and then will spend the next month in ashrams where the usual wake up time is 4.30am. But not Bali. Not today. Today, I do not know the time yet and as I am lying on my side, curled up under the doona (the air-con is still on), and as I roll over with my eyes still closed, I feel all my worries and concerns leaking out of my ear and into the pillow. I can beat them out of there later. I smile in contentment and feel the empty space within where only breath exists. I let go of the day. It hasn’t begun for me yet, so really there is no point being attached to it yet. Anything could happen. I do not think about breakfast yet, as I usually would. I do not wonder why my phone vibrated a little while ago, or what time it is. I just enjoy being in bed. This is definitely a formula for waking up on the right side of the bed.

When I eventually open my eyes and come out of my bed-itation, I check my phone. I have been looking at my visa for India and wondering why the expiry date is only the 21st May. When I asked a friend, she said it looks like I only got the 2 month visa, which means I am already getting in ten days later than when it begins and I have to be out 7 weeks after I arrive. I feel the frustration and disappointment rise up within. I go to the bathroom in a huff and brush my teeth with more emotion than what is necessary for oral hygiene. Then I decide to leave all that negative emotion right here in the bathroom, where waste is usually left. Meditation only takes you so far, sometimes you need to make the conscious decision NOT to be a slave to your emotions. I emerge from the bathroom with a smile and resume my position in bed. After all, if I need to be back in Sydney by the 21st May, then I assume that it is for a reason and I trust that reason to be something amazing.

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