Day 123- past, practice and pumpkin curry

I have spent most of the day staring at either the yoga mat or the computer screen and I’m starting to wonder if I didn’t waste my last day in Rishikesh. They serve a pumpkin curry at the ashram that they have never served before with some kind of pumpkin fritter ball floating around in it. Suddenly my small tummy decides it can fit in three bowls and I spend the rest of the day rolling around like a half filled water balloon.

It is evening when the four of us sit around and battle Mosquitos, spending our last evening together talking. As usual, the topic is life, yoga, meditation and the etcetera’s. My phone starts making noises and I’m singing along to AC/DC’s Back in Black for a few seconds before I remember that this is my ringtone. Wow. My phone hasn’t rung in ages!

When I answer it is the past calling and I have nothing meaningful to say. What happens when you let go of the past but it is still holding on to you? Guilt is what happens. I am condemning myself. How could you be so selfish as to move on, to grow and evolve, Liz? But if I didn’t come this far, if I never climbed that icy mountain, seen what I’ve seen, done the hours of practice that I’ve done or met these beautiful souls, would I be at this point where I can so easily speak my truth? I know the answer to that. The simple truth is P.P.P. practice persistence and patience.

You never step in the same river twice. I’m sorry for changing but “time grabs you by the wrist and directs you where to go.” (Yon pointed out the words to this Greenday song and said it made him think of me.)

Here I am, speaking my truth and that truth is that the past is gone, the future does not exist and all we have is NOW.

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