Day 178 – no pause, no rest

I wake up with a start, not sure which job I am supposed to be at or whether I am late or not. When I realise I am not working for another few hours, I go through my training schedule in my head and think I must be running this morning. No, it is a cross training day and I am going indoor rock climbing tonight. I can relax and go back to sleep, but I don’t. I am already awake so I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. Eventually I get up for my meditation and realise how tired I am when I can’t keep my back up straight. I know I am doing too much, I know I am pushing myself a little too far, but I can’t see anywhere that I can cut down. At work, I realise how tired I am from lack of sleep. I must have had about four hours of deep sleep, with another 3 of restless, half awake sleep. At the end of the shift, I lean on the bar for dear life while I look up the address I am picking my friend up from. Within five minutes I am changed and gone. No pause, no rest. After rock climbing, we go out for dinner in Newtown and stumble across a place called the BlackSheep. It turns out I have worked with the bartender and the owner previously at other venues. It is a tiny, vintage style bar with velvet filigree wallpaper and dripping candle wax over a faux fireplace. This could be the only place in Sydney that actually has a tofu dog on the menu. By the time I get home, I am exhausted and yet I still get excited when I find a pair of dumbbells in the cupboard. I start to pick them up and then have to reprimand myself. No! I need to sleep, I am exhausted and I have to be up at 5.30am tomorrow. This is Vata in overdrive. I need to just slow down.

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