Day 181 – sleepy smiles

I never take days off. I never spend whole days in bed. This is unheard of. This is outrageous! I have been tossing and turning all night from the fever and my hopes of feeling better today are entirely dashed as I can’t even get up to get more water. I have the most awful taste in my mouth and when I try to speak I end up coughing so hard, my whole body spasms. I know I should go to the doctor but I can’t move. How can a flu ravage my body this hard? I am healthy! I take care of myself… don’t I? I guess all the natural, whole, vegetarian food and exercise won’t help if it isn’t backed up by adequate rest. When you throw in some serious wine appreciation that has been happening lately, I haven’t given my poor body a chance to recover. This is serious. I don’t want to go to the doctor. He will probably say I have pneumonia and put me in hospital and (stamping feet) I don’t want to go to hospital! Having to take a Saturday night off work to stay home in bed seems luxurious and wasteful. The fever sets in again as night falls and I feel the onslaught of the cough creep back into my chest. I am reading about some friends on Facebook doing an amazing yoga intensive and a pang of jealousy sends me into another coughing fit. A friend writes that she is going to bed with a smile on her face. I decide to just cough up that jealousy and let it go. I can also choose to go to bed with a smile on my face. I am home, in bed, on a Saturday night. My body may be sick and weak but that is no reason to be miserable. My soul is always healthy and it is about time I gave myself a chance to rest. When I take a look at my calendar Daily Yoga Meditations 2012, the quote for this weekend just so happens to be:

I don’t know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down. You might think we would lie there and rest for a while.
– Max Eastman

So I go to sleep with a smile on my face.

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