Day 192 – the teaching challenge

I have never before felt dread before a yoga class. Until now. It is my ego as a yoga teacher that has taken a beating lately. There seems to be a gap between my experiences in India and how I am expected to teach here in the West. I tried to fuse my knowledge together but the feedback has returned that my classes are not strong enough anymore. I try to amp it up, speed it up and meet these expectations but as days go by with no comments, I know I am dwelling on this and wondering if I can even call myself a yoga teacher anymore. The way I practice now is completely different to the way I teach. There is a divide between what I now understand to be my yoga practice and what we call yoga here in Sydney. I am trying to bridge the gap but it kind of feels like I have to hop back and forth. The two practices are both yoga, but the difference in styles makes it seem like I can’t even call it the same thing! I can’t believe it but I feel my heart sink as I drive to the yoga studio. I don’t like this feeling. I should be excited! I pick up Krystle and bring her to class. I want her honest feedback but she is going to love it no matter what because she is naturally positive and has no expectations. Once we start to flow, I find myself talking and moving without thinking. The worries I had before the class never actually made it into the room and by the end I am left looking around, wondering what the hell just happened. I was open and ready for the class that needed to be. I didn’t ‘do’ the asana, I allowed them to happen. As long as I always remember that I am just a channel for the universe and allow the energy to flow through me, then I will always teach exactly as I am supposed to teach. I place my trust in the universe. This may be a challenge but every uphill struggle in my life has led me to something amazing so I can now turn this experience around and look forward to something really positive just over the rise.

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