Day 358 – Christmas Eve, the family meditation

Traditionally, my family celebrate Christmas on this evening. We would wait until midnight to open the presents but since my brothers have small children now, we tend to do the present opening during the day. This year I am not with them, but I still call to wish them a merry Christmas. Both my brothers sound busy, though my eldest brother still manages to throw in a bit of a lecture about tattoos and not drinking too much. My mother tries to get upset about my plans to get a motorbike license and for once I am a little bit grateful not to be around them all today- it seems they are in the mood to have a dig. I know it comes from a place of love, but it is interesting to look at my journey and see that the things I have done that have worried them the most have also made me the happiest and ultimately, left them the proudest. Not that they will always agree with tattoos or riding motorbikes, but one thing I will always know is that if they see me following my bliss and finding happiness, then they are happy for me. My mum may worry when I travel to third world countries alone, or when I go camping in the snow, but she has always told me that my only job is to be happy, so I know that she will support me no matter how crazy my adventures get. I do miss them, even when they are shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at me. It is beautiful to spend time with another family, to feel the love they have for each other and be reminded of how much love I have felt from my own brothers and sisters. Meditating on family love, I realise that the first part of this year, I had to escape everything from my life in order to find bliss. I had to find myself. I had to be alone, to totally remove myself from the world, from my relationship, from my family and friends and strip back all the layers that had influenced me and hidden my true self. Now, knowing who I am, being comfortable enough with my true self to let it shine, I am ready to share my bliss. I am ready to find bliss with the people I love; and with one in particular. Now, finding bliss isn’t about escaping but immersing and experiencing.

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