Day 328 – The Endless Wine List

I saw a psychic a year ago who told me that around December all my hard work would finally pay off. When I think back on it, I had even said to myself that I hadn’t done any hard work at the time! I hadn’t even thought of the 365 Days in Bliss project yet. Now that it has happened I realise she was right- only she was telling me a year in advance. Today marks the first step in the right direction of writing. I have been asked to cover the launch of a new wine on Wednesday evening and so have had to whip up a new blog. All about the bottled bliss, The Endless Wine List is born!

Along with this, I have also been invited to contribute wine reviews to goodbarguide.com. It all seems to have sprung up on me today. A day of apparently little significance… A day that will forever be remembered as the birth of The Endless Wine List. Day 328. Thank you to all of the followers who watch this space for the words that have chosen to arrange themselves in such a manner as to create a story worth reading. If you enjoy my words, please check out the new blog. In my world, www stands for words, wine and wishes coming true.

Advertisements

Day 259 to Day 265 – resistance to love

Day 259 – resisting the lines

 You just can’t expect the unexpected. If there is one thing I have learned from this year of bliss, it is that change is the only constant. The path is never straight, especially where I am concerned. All my lines are squiggly, curling and sometimes crossing over. When I found myself on a date for the first time in months, I just took it in stride. When it lasted three days and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, I started to freak out. This was not part of the plan! I ran away from commitment, became chronically afraid of emotions, morally against the disease they call love and firmly protected behind my supposedly impenetrable wall of prickly toughness. Ah, how wrong I was. When I first got back from India, the palm reader at Embrace looked at my hand and said that my next big relationship was coming. I begged him to take it back. I rubbed at the lines on my hands, desperate for some years of solitude, but he just laughed at me. “How much time have I got, Ric?” I may as well have been asking about a terminal illness. He asked how old I was. When I said 25, he said I would meet him before I turned 26. Whatever, Ric, I thought. Palm readers get shit wrong all the time. Though, admittedly, Ric has told me some pretty accurate and specific stuff in the time I have known him.

Well, here I am, sitting in this guy’s kitchen, watching him cook me a wheat free, dairy free, vegetarian Pad Thai and I realise that this is the first time I have let a man who was not a direct relation cook me a meal without having to pay for it. I have always taken charge in the kitchen but for the first time in my life, someone is making me a meal for no other reason than the fact that they want to.

Suddenly I realise why I have had stomach problems the past couple of weeks. It was the resistance manifesting in my body. The more I wanted to stop the flow of energy, the more it all got stuck and caused dis-ease. The universe has made all the decisions for me this year and up until now, I had just accepted. This was the first time that I tried to fight it. Well, the universe thinks Matt is a good idea and I have to agree.

 

Day 260 – the chance to turn it all around

I had intended to detox this week but we had new wines delivered so we have had tasting at 10am both mornings. Ok, detox starts at lunchtime. We are having lunch out, a farewell for one of the consultants. Ok, detox starts after lunchtime. How many times can I bend these rules? When I get home, out of pure habit and exhaustion from a long day, I pour a glass of wine. Dammit I forgot. Ok, detox starts tomorrow. I am still making lentil hotpot when I put the wine down and make the decision to just STOP. It takes consciousness, it takes awareness and it takes strength. My friend, Liz (not myself, another Liz), who is a personal trainer, made the analogy: if you dropped your phone and cracked the screen, would you run over it with your car to finish the job or would you keep using the phone? ‘Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.’ – Penelope Cruz, Vanilla Sky

 

Day 261 – one of those days

First it is needles from the doctor.

Then I break a full bottle of Hungarian muskat in my samples case.

Then my car gets stuck in some gravelly sand where a road has just been excavated.

My last client is a complete no- show.

When I finally flop down onto Matt’s couch, I can’t help but laugh. What else could I possibly do? This would be the perfect moment for a piece of dark chocolate and a glass of Hungarian wine. That one that I broke earlier. Luckily.

Well, not every day flows. Not every day stays unbroken. My car got out of the ditch. I got to finish early and the only wine that was tempting me was not available anyway. So when I turn the day around and see it from another angle, it was actually quite beautiful!

 

Day 262 – fluorite to settle the chaos

 It is going to be a long day of work, with lots of driving around. As soon as I wake up, it is time to put the game face on. I just want to keep sleeping all day. I open all the windows, light some incense and stop to look out into the morning light. The huge piece of fluorite on the windowsill is there, solid and strong. Flourite is supposed to settle chaos. I bought it after our first weekend of chaos in this house, after the neighbours complained about our loud house warming. Krystle’s nickname is chaos. As soon as I brought it in the house it was instantaneous calm. She kept patting the crystal and spent the whole week being more settled than I had seen her in the whole time I had known her. Now it is my turn. I place both hands on the crystal and allow my breath to calm. When it is time to go, I say goodbye to the Chaos Crystal and hug the Krystle Chaos. Busy does not have to be chaotic. Success is not measured by exhaustion. I can do this my way. No rush.

 

Day 263 – the people I meet

My final tasting for the day is with my new friend, Daniel. I met him at Ravesi’s after City 2 Surf and we connected over each other’s awesome hair. That’s how you meet friends. Exchange a compliment, connect on facebook and now we are friends, forever connected by the internet. His other friends are just as beautiful and while they taste the wines and we chat non-stop, I feel immensely grateful for this random encounter. Climbing the branches back, I make the tiny connections that have led me to this point. If I had never shaved my head to go to India, I would never have had short hair for Dan to notice. If I had never started running in India, I would never have done City 2 Surf. If I had never started meditating, I might not have gone to India. If I had never had such a bad break up, I might never have started meditating. If I had never experienced some of the worst moments of my life, I might never have experienced some of the best. Everywhere I end up turns into magic and for this beautiful realisation, I am here amongst people that were strangers at the start of the night and then friends by the end of the night. One of whom, Jess, calls herself Miss Spiritual and has just returned from a meditation journey to Bali. These people are no accident. This is a part of the path, an important and significant moment. I have no way of knowing how this will affect the path further on, but I look forward to the moment in the future when I can look back at this and connect the dots, climb back through the branches and see where this point has lead me to.

 

Day 264 – six degrees

I knew that eventually I would turn up at someone’s house to do a wine tasting and would know someone there. The law of averages dictates that this had to happen, but it is still a pleasant surprise when I see the same painting in someone’s house as one in Krystle’s room. When I am looking at their wedding photos and spot a friend who grew up in the house across the street from me. The current population of Sydney is about 3,641,421. The idea that everyone is only an average of six introductions away means that I should be able to do this every week. And does facebook make it smaller? Does social networking make the degrees even less? Now that I can look up a person and see our “Mutual Friends”, does that not make the degrees even less? Then, the spiritual theory- we are all just recycled matter, all connected by a higher divine presence, a collective consciousness, and all made of stars; original energy from the big bang, reconfigured into everything that has come into existence. Not only do I know the boy down the street who once lived with my clients, I was also once related to Buddha, drank the same water molecules that once washed Jesus’ feet and have also been the same chemical compounds that made up a rock. This is the train of thought that can work its way across my brain in less than a minute as I stare blankly at other people’s wedding photos. My eyes return again and again to the person I know, simply because it is recognition. When someone says, ‘you look familiar’ and they aren’t trying to pick you up, maybe it is true? That past life, when were both cats? We climbed that tree and ate that rat together. Remember? Good times!

 

Day 265 – just say it

There are so many things that I say that I shouldn’t and so many things I probably should say but don’t. I hold back, I hesitate and I keep my mouth shut. Fear? Uncertainty? The barriers fly up again like security shutters on a bank and at 3am I find myself waking up in anxiety, wondering what the hell is this snake of negative thought doing slithering around in my brain? So I just say it. I talk about it. I open up and slowly take down the barriers, softening and being honest. When I can say the worst, I finally feel ready to say the best. Well, I don’t exactly scream it from the rooftops, but I whisper it and as long as he hears it, that is all that matters. Say what you mean and mean what you say. That is why I keep quiet. Tell me anything as long it is always true. And then you will always know that these words mean more than the sum of the letters that they appear to be. When I say that I love you, it isn’t just because you said it first. It isn’t just because I want you to hear it. It is because I love you.

 

Day 252 to Day 258 – a week of gratitude

When my sister said a speech at her own wedding, she had read somewhere that if you make a list of at least six things that you are grateful for every day, then you will be happy. So she then went on to tell us all of the things she was grateful for. So for seven days, I made a point to say thank you at least seven times. By the end of each day, I mostly had way more than seven. Every moment was beautiful, for every single day, I could be grateful for every single minute… Thank you for…

 

Day 252 – the little things

A parking space close enough to the cafe that I can get my coffee as soon as I drive in to work.

The barista who knows exactly what I want and starts making it as soon as he sees me approach.

The hour and a half long lunchtime that allows me to lay in the sun for an hour in the middle of the day and do nothing.

The phone charger my boss keeps at work so that my phone never has to die, even though I am using it constantly.

The customers who actually answer their phones.

The customers who sound pleased, if not excited to hear that I want to bring wine to their house!

The warm night that I finally get to drive home in, after a long day, finally noticing that spring has completely negated the need for the heater in my car.

 

Day 253 – the sorrowful things

The doctor for putting up with my complaints and hypochondria, managing to calm me when I am clearly so stressed.

The nurse for being out to lunch, so unable to take my blood for an hour, giving me time to run around Malabar and then swim across the bay.

The ocean for healing me regardless of how stressed or sad I feel.

The best friend who comforts me through text messages all day, and even makes me laugh when I feel like I want to cry.

The person who manages to look me in the eye and smile regardless of how little I can smile back.

The dinner that tastes so awful that I can’t even finish it, meaning I don’t leave the restaurant so full that I feel sick.

The cup of tea and tim tam that offers a little hug from the inside when I feel so down.

 

Day 254 – the surprising things

The strength and speed I find doing sand sprints in boot camp after I was too exhausted to even make it out of bed.

When the day seems completely pointless until the last two customers surprise me with their kindness.

The way a friend looks when I walk into his work unexpectedly.

The fifty dollar note I find tucked inside your wallet when I thought I was broke.

The missed call from someone I didn’t expect to hear from.

The vegetarian burger in a pub that turns out to be amazingly delicious.

The graffiti written on the inside of the toilet door that says SHUT UP AND LOVE.

 

Day 255 – the delicious things

The customers who no-show or cancel, leaving me with free time to go home and get back into bed for an hour.

The rainbow lorikeets that screech so loud in the trees that I can’t even hear the other person through the phone.

A familiar face in an unexpected place, making a delicious coffee and serving me a glass of prosecco.

The customers who cancel at the door, leaving me with an early night to go out to dinner.

The tiger lilies and roses, bought simply because he knew I like them.

The dinner of kingfish ceviche, quinoa and chickpea chips stacked like a jenga tower and the stuffed zucchini flowers.

The rum blazer, complete with history lesson and the spectacular show of watching all the spices spark and fire into the glass.

The amazing person who I am lucky enough to share it all with.

 

Day 256 – the fun things

Krystle’s bouncing energy, dragging me out of the house when all I want to do is lie down.

The unplanned adventure into the city to go to a Creole Zouk night. (Side note, Creole Zouk is kind of like a slow, French Caribbean version of Salsa. Very sexy, seductive and beautiful.)

The pleasant surprise that my date can actually dance!

My cousin who meets us out and can make friends with any person that I introduce him to.

The bars that actually stock cucumber to go with a Hendricks gin and tonic.

The three individual friends I haven’t seen in years who give me massive hugs and a quick hello, knowing now that our entire friendship is conducted over Facebook.

The taxi driver that takes us home right at the changeover time when it is impossible to find a taxi.

 

Day 257 – the work things

It isn’t hard to be grateful for today, when I am being whisked away to the Hunter Valley with work colleagues.

The lift into the city that gets me there on time, despite being out until 3am.

The beautiful sunshine that graces the day out in the vineyards.

The delicious wine of Brokenwood.

The Hendricks Punch served hot in a teapot that helps me recover from the night before.

The credit card that allows me to purchase a $100 bottle of Quail shiraz, or the Magnum bottle of Semillon.

The laughter of the whole ride home and the new bond between people who were once just work colleagues, but can now be called friends.

 

Day 258 – the unfamiliar things

The way he holds my hand when he can see that I am nervous to be introduced to people unknown.

The wine that allows the nerves to fade and the conversation to flow.

My ability to use humour to hide from an awkward situation.

Francesca, my new American friend, who turns up in Bondi out of nowhere and has dinner with us.

The point of the night where my body refuses any more alcohol and I end up drinking water instead.

The exhaustion that forces me home and in bed by midnight.

The warm embrace at the end of a long weekend.

Day 223 to Day 228 – City to Surf to Wine to Blood

Day 223 – too excited to sleep

I am still buzzing of the natural high I got from climbing and I can’t seem to sit still. I want to run around and yet I know City 2 Surf is on tomorrow so I need to rest. I roll out the yoga mat and get to downward dog, which is where I stop. I can’t move. It feels too good. Finally I have stillness! Most people probably wouldn’t think that downward dog is much of a rest but I love this pose and with rhythmic breathing I can stay here for ages. So I do. About twenty minutes later I finally move into a forward bend. This is the kind of practice that I need right now just to calm myself down. I can feel the whirlwind of excitement slowing down. I move slowly, with intention and do no more than about 6 poses in total. I feel completely different when I stand up. I barely slept last night so I finally realise how tired I am and decide to have a lie down. It doesn’t last. I feel the energy rise up again and I decide to get ready and go out. I just want to see people. After being isolated all week, I want to be surrounded by a crowd, to have to say hello and goodbye to everyone I know. When we leave the house the road outside is wet from the rain and in two steps I take a tumble and graze my knee. I will later graze the other knee on my way home. I hold the bloody tissue in the taxi, shaking my head at the irony. Seriously, Liz, you can go mountaineering for a week and come away with nothing more than a couple of bruises but the moment you try to put on high heels you fall over and start bleeding?! I know my vata energy should be calmed in some other way but this feels like more than just the erratic winds of vata blowing me about. I feel the fire of pitta burning away inside of me, charging me about. I feel like I have been ignited and I can’t possibly just stay inside in case my energy burns the house down. It is an amazing feeling to be so bright and light. I am in bed by midnight and finally can sleep. When I wake up I will run 14km.

 

Day 224 – City 2 Surf

I wake up early and can’t get back to sleep. I am way too excited for this race! I get out my running gear. It seems cold so I am grateful that I managed to wash my thermal Skins in time. At the start line, groups of people chat to each other. I stand alone, listening to music. I am uncertain about this. I know how tired I should be. I am still running on the fire energy that I have gathered from mountaineering. I can’t believe how little sleep I have been getting. I close my eyes and turn inwards, taking a moment to see that fire. This fire can carry me up a 2km slope carting a sled of human faeces. I have no idea what heartbreak hill is supposed to be like but it can’t be as bad as that slope. The crowd starts to jog and I begin dodging all the walkers and prams that were in front of me. Before long I find my own space in the wide open road of William St. Emerging from the tunnel, the sun is sparkling out over Rose Bay. I love Sydney. I take a moment to be grateful for this chance to see so many people places as we run towards Bondi beach. I know that the hill happens at the halfway point, but when it is over I am unsure. Was that it? I don’t want to sound arrogant but wow, it really was nothing! It was a long uphill run, yes, but I never really found it hard. I guess it’s all relative. After the slopes and hills I have been climbing this week, that paved road was nothing. The last km is the hardest. To be so close and yet so far, it is like my body finally allows itself to admit how tired it really is. It is at the last few hundred metres, coming around the bend toward the finish line that I feel the last surge of energy. I sprint toward the finish 93 minutes after I left the start. I had wanted to finish in under 90 minutes but considering all the factors at play here, I am pleased with my result. I did it and I did it easily. I never felt like I was pushing myself harder than I could handle and I came out the other end alive. Time to go home and lie down again. One of these days I will figure out what rest means.

 

Day 224 – grass blessings

I am walking back to Bondi to pick up my car. The coastal walk is eerily empty of people. A cool wind whips at my face and I look out to the horizon. The ocean is a dark grey colour, but I even love when it looks dark and stormy like this. There is something romantic about it, like she is heartbroken, crying over a lost love. I walk up some stairs towards my car, holding my hand out to run my fingers through the tall grass. The smooth blades slide across my skin and I stop to say thank you to them at the top of the stairs. I feel like rolling around in the wet sand, like smelling damp earth, like just making love to mother nature. I stop at my car, not even sure if I want to get into it. I know I have things to do today, so I need to get in and drive but I have just had the most beautiful walk, feeling entirely part of this universe. I get in and despite the cold, wind down my window and enjoy the air on my face. I guess that is the beauty of wind. It gets in everywhere and even when encased away from nature, a window can always be opened to let in the sunshine and the breath of god.

 

Day 225 – last yoga class

It is not without some emotion that I teach my final yoga class at Yogatime. It is a busy class and as I find the rhythm of my voice moving along with the pace of the students, I start to wonder if I am making the right decision. When the class leaves and someone tells me it is a shame that I will no longer be teaching there, I almost want to cry. What am I doing? To be honest, I am not sure but this isn’t the first time this year that I have wondered about this journey. All I can do is trust that the path I am walking is exactly where I am supposed to be. If I walk away from teaching asana, it does not necessarily mean that I will no longer be a yogi so I place my faith in the path and allow the allowing.

 

Day 226 – first day at Pieroth

There are worse ways to spend a first day of work than tasting premium wine. Learning how to read a German wine label takes a lot longer but once I have grown accustomed to the un-pronouncables, the rest is up to my palate. I close my eyes to breathe the soft varietal bouquet. Passionfruit, pomegranate, violets, citrus, fresh cut grass, earthy wood, spring jasmine at dusk… My brain struggles to keep up with my nose. How is there no meditation in enjoying the flavour of wine? Hand picked grapes, selected with care, the juice extracted through first press from the natural weight of the grapes. Anything made with such elegant delicacy, such love and passion, deserves to be honoured and drunk with the same meditative care.

I prefer the dry wines. The first one we try, a German white, Nussdorfer Herrenberg, steals my heart, though it feels some serious competition from the French Collier D’or. I never drink Rose, but I also never say no to a drop so when I try the Chevalier de Bayard Rose and fall head over heels in love, I can barely believe it. Drinking commercial, cheap wines, it would only take an hour before I would end up with a headache, or a minor hangover, but these premium wines with minimal additives (sulphites only), are mellow and kind. No headache or sleepiness ever appears. I feel satisfied and content as I leave my first day at work and offer gratitude to the universe for this part of the path.

 

Day 227 – help a friend out

Sometimes friends ask for help and without question we want to just blurt out all the advice we can offer. Sometimes that advice is taken on board and other times it is rejected. Sometimes it is appreciated and sometimes it aggravates. Ultimately, every experience is unique and what works for one person may not necessarily be truth for another person. Every person has to decide for them selves and no one situation can accurately reflect all the variables of someone else’s situation. Unfortunately tonight when I offer my friend some advice, I can see it has agitated him and that is the last thing I want. In the end, all I can offer is a hug. I hope it is enough, but be aware, dear friend, that the ego will make mountains out of molehills and drama out of drear. As your friend, I want to shoulder your pain and fix the problem. I want to share the embrace and light up the dark. But in reality, I don’t have all the answers. I won’t always say the right thing. Sometimes all you need is a hug and for me to say nothing but to only listen. If nothing else, I can tell you that I understand, I can validate your feelings, not tell you not to feel them.

 

Day 228 – running and bleeding

New shoes. We all love new shoes. I just wish I could buy old shoes. Wearing in new shoes can be painful and the blisters on the back of my heels are not healing. I go for a run but within the first kilometre, I have to stop and bend over because my nose is dripping with blood and I have no tissues. I stand and watch the red droplets fall to the ground. This has happened twice lately, but just mid-conversation. When the blood finally clots, I continue running and uphill my shoes rub the blisters so badly that I just turn around for home. When I get home the back of my socks are soaked in bright red blood. I can’t even run without hemorraging from my face to my feet! I don’t understand. I guess this is my body telling me to stop, to just rest and take it easy. I can feel the latent impressions coming back. The distorted body image appears in the mirror and I hear a critical and mean voice from my past make a nasty comment. I stop and look at my reflection deep in the eyes. “Liz, you just climbed a mountain last week. You ran 14km after going out all night and you still ran even after you bled from your face, only to find that you were bleeding from your feet as well! If you can’t forgive yourself and allow yourself to rest right now then you will never allow yourself the chance to recover your strength.” I take a long, hot shower and finally the negativity is washed away. I find my reflection again. “You don’t do guilt, Liz!” That is the last time I try to carry myself away on a guilt trip for not exercising as hard/strong/long as I wanted to. I wouldn’t treat a lover like that, so why do I do it to myself? Love. Pure love. Not tough love.

Day 214 – the luxury lunch

It takes 2 hours to get ready for the interview, 25 minutes to shine at the interview and over 24 hours to wait for the call back that will tell me whether or not I was successful. This is perhaps only the third corporate interview I have had in my life. I decide on a pencil skirt and ankle boots. I read somewhere that ankle boots indicate that the woman is more likely to be aggressive so I went out and bought another two pairs. I am going for a sales job in a German wine company so I feel there is nothing wrong with a little aggression. I am once again aware of my tattoos as I struggle to keep my sleeves covering my wrist. I am nervous, but as I drive to the interview, focusing on my breath and calming myself down, the nerves change form and I grow in confidence. I say exactly what I want, in the present tense, as though it has already happened and repeat that to myself like a mantra.

‘I work for Pieroth wines. I am a highly successful rep for Pieroth wines. I am the best wine rep for Pieroth wines.’

When I get to the interview, I am full of confidence and excitement. I sit down with Goran, who has a thick German accent and seems impressed when I tell him that Gewürztraminer is my favourite type of wine. He even laughs and says that I seem very confident.

“I am a compulsive optimist,” I tell him, “And it has worked for me so far.”

He agrees, “I have not yet seen a pessimistic person succeed.”

I walk away with my spine long, finally taking the deep belly breaths that the pencil skirt did not allow. Whoever invented stockings must have been a man. Am I really ready for a corporate job in sales? Am I really ready to talk about wine all day instead of yoga? Wine is considered a sacred elixir. Am I really ready to give up my yoga classes to work full time in this industry? I treat myself to a pre-emptive celebratory lunch in North Sydney, watching the waves of suits walk past. I used to live near here, in Cammeray. I used to be a part of the money-driven consumerist society. I used to dine like this daily and think little of ordering a $60 bottle of wine. I also practiced yoga five times a week at a studio and meditated every day. While this job may not seem like something you could picture me doing, I would love the opportunity to find balance, to focus my attention on one single thing and do it well, to become a yoga student again, to not wake up wondering which job I am supposed to be rushing to… I would love to go to sleep before midnight and NOT have to clean the bar down. I take another sip of the strong flavoured Roussaane as I eat the perfectly boiled egg on my haloumi salad. As long as we do anything with intention, with purpose and with full conscious awareness, then I am sure that I can make this part of my daily bliss. And I firmly believe that anywhere that I am is exactly where I am supposed to be. Many small events brought me to this point and knowing the turn of the wheel keeps life every-flowing and changing, I gratefully accept any opportunity that presents itself to me.

Day 72- slave to my shadow

I love moments of synchronicity. I am writing an email to one of my closest friends about our travelling and career options. One of the many things we write to each other is how lucky we are to have been born into lives that allow us to have so many choices. We can do anything we choose and nobody can stop us. Except for perhaps ourselves. I also write about my desire to give up drinking this year. I want to do it now, but I question whether I am ready. I don’t drink to get drunk but even a glass or two of wine leaves me feeling sick and closed off from myself. When I flew in to Bali on Friday night, I had more than a couple of glasses of wine and two days later I still feel awful. I ask myself if today is the day I am going to give up drinking, but I don’t have the courage to say yes because I am afraid to let myself down. Can I really make sure that I never have another glass of wine? What do I miss out on if I give it up? What do I gain if I do have one? What will happen if I let myself down?

I lie down on the cool tiles and stare up at the Balinese Hindu blessing hanging above the door. It is a picture of a god standing over a snake-like demon, like Archangel Michael slaying the devil. The symbol of lightness triumphing over the dark. I don’t know if the world is made up of such black and white dualities, however I can feel that struggle within myself. The desire to enjoy a glass of wine is also an attachment to my freedom to choose to drink wine. As I meditate on this small white flag swaying in the breeze, I come face to face with my higher self. The I within is full of love and forgiveness. The I that is true self is not attached to wine and doesn’t know the name of Madame Clicquot. That I is the light and my shadow lies in the dark. Today I feel free to choose not to drink wine. Today I am not a slave to my shadow.

When I come back to my laptop, a friend has posted this quote and the beauty of the synchronicity almost brings me to tears. A small message of encouragement from the universe:

You’re lucky if you can pursue your dreams without having to ward off government interference & corporate brainwashing & religious fanaticism. But that’s only partly useful if you haven’t yet won another right, which is the freedom from your own unconscious obsessions & conditioned responses. Becoming an independent agent who’s not an unwitting slave to your shadow is one of the most heroic feats you can accomplish.
Rob Brezney